Illustrasjon: Anne Line Fjeldstad / PRESSET.

For most of us who have come across the words parasocial relationships most likely associate the term with stan culture. Maybe teenagers protecting their idol by harassing randos on the internet, or football supporters (where the fanbase are mostly men) also harass randos on the internet and on the street.

Meeting your hero

In the last episode of the third season of the HBO series Dave, we are introduced to Brad Pitt (playing himself) on a film set. The main character Dave (also playing a version of himself) becomes star struck, feeling like they already know each other, and invites him to his house.

Later that day a production assistant from the film set called Bella shows up at the door to deliver a hard drive to Dave, but she has a hidden motive. She goes on a long monologue about how she is destined for greatness, and how she and Dave are meant to be best friends. Dave then asks her to leave (because he is expecting Brad Pitt any moment), but Emma won’t, and this is where things take a turn for the worst. Bella and Dave’s relationship can be seen as parasocial.

But for us that is not familiar with the word; “Parasocial relationship refers to a relationship that a person imagines having with another person whom they do not actually know, such as a celebrity or a fictional character.” Adoration for a friend that is not reciprocating the same feeling back. Like a content creator that don’t know about your existence. Like Dave not knowing (or caring) about Bella.

Isolation in the real world

The isolation in a high-speed capitalistic environment leads to the need to keep up or being left out. The presented task is impossible for humans to upkeep, where it leads to isolation and loneliness. During loneliness in a high-pressured-highly-individual society, the need for seeking closeness almost becomes shameful.

In a world where mass production has been integrated to our daily lives, the popularity in different social media platforms risen. Streaming platforms as Twitch has become a haven for avid lonely users. TikTok gained international popularity during the pandemic. Because the lack of human interaction was evident in three years, TikTok became the standard culture for teenagers and young adults, and “doomscrolling” became the new big thing. This led to a huge rise in new stars, and a new way for us mortals to become even closer to our celebrity gods.

Parasocial relationships can often be sexual, like when the streamer Neekolul (she’s the one who did the O.K Boomer-dance on TikTok), who had a loyal army of simps, lost over 65 thousand followers on twitter within 48 hours after she revealed she had a boyfriend. The streamer was only interesting to a lot of the followers as long as she was single.

An unknown friend

Even though content creators loosely use words like “friends” and “family”, we know that it’s not true. The content of intimacy through TikTok videos where you get to see their everyday life gives the fantasy of closeness. It also invites the consumer into comfort and away from the loneliness they are surrounded by, at least for a while. These creators are of course selling an illusion of friendship and inclusion, but the line between stranger and friend gets blurry when you use hours hanging out with them and interacting, like you would with your real-life friends.

An extreme example of this is the 1982 film King of Comedy, where an aspiring and unsuccessful comedian (played by Robert De Niro) stalks and kidnaps his idol in an attempt to become famous. The film is maybe more relevant now than it was when it came out, and was recently called “slept on” by the director Martin Scorsese himself in a TikTok-video with his daughter.

Robert De Niro as Rupert Pupkin, having a conversation with his idol Jerry Langford (Jerry Lewis) and Liza Minnelli. Copyright: 20th Century Fox / Photo: IMDb

Community

Consumers don't only turn to content creators for content but interaction. Staying in touch with the environment the creator has made, gives the feeling that you’re in a dialogue not only with them but other consumers. It gives a sense of community where the reference points are the same. The creator has now created an exclusive bubble where consumers are becoming friends with each other. This perception of connection almost eliminates the concept of loneliness where the online world built by this content creator becomes the new daily life.

We fall into the trap thinking we know someone - feeling close to a stranger is not as abnormal as it should be. Unilateral proximity is used in political campaigns, to sell music and even promote movies. We’re aware subconsciously but give our trust because these people or concepts at times seems reliable.

Back at Dave's house, Brad Pitt arrives, which makes Bella even more ecstatic. She believes this is destiny, believing she and Brad Pitt will become best friends as well. But when she overhears Dave and Brad talk about how they can throw her out the house, she pulls a gun on them, forcing them to hang out with her. I won't say anything more of what happens, but I highly recommend it. The episode is a “stand alone-episode” and can be watched even though you haven't seen Dave before.

Parasocial relationships – a window into an uknown friend